Are you worth fighting for?
It has still changed

and theres no future
no furure at all
we hang onto the pat
hang onto our love
knowing there wont be anything left
not the smallest thing
beside hurted feelings
between all the pain
all the things we thought we knew.
and then,
sometimes
I just think I don't know what love really is
I think I don't know what we really do
or who we really are.
sometimes I feel this is just a lie
a lie to comfort us
a lie to paste our time
and then I feel like I'm drowning
in thefeelings in the pain
and everytie I look at you
just if  Itry
sadness makes me feel
like I can't take any breath
like there is no air
like thres nothing
nothing in me
just empyness
just these hole
in me
right there in my chest
And then I'm not able to feel anything
but this cold
this ice
this terrible, frozen pein
a frozen body
my frozen body
And I'm not able to admit it
but it still has changed
it still has ended
the feeling of love is still soaked from all the pain.

 

 

gramatical errors - AHOI! 

25.2.13 11:53


Nothing inside.

 

something about...


 

Love is a thing that may kill you. It may rip your heart to bloody parts, throw them to the ground, spit your blood, kill your feels. Love is cruel, misterious. Love is the wort, love is the best. If you love, you know it. You know the pain, the pleasure. The everything the nothing. It is everything inside and beside us.

And love is you. and me. Its us, the us together, the invisible truth between uns. It's what pulls us together. It's what throws me away from you. Love is unbelievable, destroying, even not destrctive. It's what I'm living for, and maybe what I'm dying for. It's love. just love. so much more than a word. 

And at least, it all ends again at you and me. He and me. S and S. Two hearts, one heart. Together. I won't say forever, I just say as long as our love leads us through.

I love you.

_______________

 

You.

 

A love
cold as ice
A pain
crystalclear
feelings
brighter than my fear
So much blood in my soul
Blood because without you
I'm just not whole.
I know you need me too.
But your frozen heart
Just kills it from the start
Your soul, just cruelty,
Throws you away from me.
And I'm reaching for the sun
I fight, I run
just for you.
You.

________________

 

Mein Tod.

 

Wie ein Nachtschattengewächs sich dem Himmel emporreckt, strecke ich mich aus nach dir.
Wie eine Verdurstende das wasser sehnt, sehne ich dich.
Wie eine Pflanze dem Wasser entgegenstrebt, strebe ich nach dir.
Du bist sonne, wasser bist der Himmel die Luft.
Und ich kann nur von dir träumen.
Einen Traum, so unendlich wie das universum.
Nie endendes hoffen
Hoffen auf dich, dass deine gegenwart, mir leben gibt.
Dass es die Hülle, die tote hülle auferstehen lässt.
Dass du kommst, mcih befreist.
Befreist aus dem kristallenen Käfig meiner Tränen.
geschmiedet aus dem Blut meines Herzens.
das Blut, das du vergossen hast, als du es getötet hast.
Wie du es zerfetzt hast, zu teilen.
Mit einem Messer von solcher Größe, dass es einen Menschen hätte umbringen können.
Und mit soclher präzision, mit keinem kleinsten TZögern.
ist du einfach darauf losgegangen, hast das Blut sprudeln gesehen, in großen, roten fontänen. Es glich einem Springbrunnen und du hast nur gelächelt. Während ich noch zu meinem bluten'd herz sah, einem Herzen das immer nur dir gehört hatte, stecktest du dein Messer weg, immernoch lächelnd. Ich hatte es nicht glauben können. Wollte es nciht wahrhaben, dass die essenz meines Lebens von dem Menschen genommen wurde, dem ich sie bereitwillig geopfert hatte.
Und dann sank ich. Sank in eine Lacke meines eigenen Blutes. Unfäghig mich zu bewegen, den Blick immernoch auf deine Leuchtend schwarzen Augen geheftet. Augen die vor hass glommen. Hass zu mir? Eine Blutige Hand näherte sich meinem Gesicht, strich über meine Wange, hinterließ nutzloses, dunkles blut auf meiner weißen Haut. Einen Augenblick wurde dein Blick von mitleid getrübt, ehe er wieder grausam war. so grausam. Du hast meinem herz abermals einen Tritt verpasst, ehe du gegrinst hast, und davon gestapft bist. Das messer immer ncoh blutig in deinem Gürtel hängend.
Und wie alle meiner Rasse brach ich zusammen, doch cih starb nicht. Ich weinte, weinte um den Menschen, den ich mehtr geliebt hatte als mein Leben., Der Mensch, der mit zwar nciht meine Existenz, und doch meinen Lebenswillen genommen hatte. Ich sah dir nach. ncoh stunden nachdem du gegangen warst. Ehe ich das bewusstsein verlor, einen unmenschlichen Schmerz an dem Fleck wo das unnütze Orgen, mein Herz einmal gewesen ist. Und dann starb ich. starb einen zweiten Tod, den Tod meiner Gefühle. Den Tod meiner Menschlichkeit. Und ab da wusste ich, würde ich ein Monster sein.
Und nun, jahrhunderte später hoffe ich immernohc, dass du mir das zurückgibst, was du mir gestohlen hast. Immernoch sehen ich mich nach dir. Oder sehne ich mich nach mir? nach meinen Empfindungen? Ich weiß es nicht.
Doch cih weiß, dass jede faser meines Körpers zu dir gehört. Die vollkommene Einsamkeit treibt mich zu dir, wie ein Wolf eine Herde wil din dei Enge treibt. Und ich war immer shcon zu schwach gewesen, mich gegen dich zu wehr zu setzen. Mich gegen dich zu behaupten. Denn ich liebte dich. Und ich tat es selbst dann noch, als du mcih bereits getötet hattest...

______________________

Mann xD nciht übel nehmen, den huimbug da oben. ich wünsch euch was.
Cheers.

20.8.12 16:01


Long time ago :O

 

Halihallo

 

Hab letztens was gefunden was ich vor echt langer, langer zeit mal geschrieben hab... nja.. iwi is es zwar extremstens düster.. aaaaaber... ich mags
enjoy =D

Staring out the window
already knowin' that it will never help
How can I make you follow?
How can I make you believe?

Raindrops are making strange sounds
What am I doin'?
I just know that every secound caunts.
How can I make you follow?
How can I make you believe?

Black walls, black floors
Everything is black
Just black except the windows 'n doors.
I get klaustrophobic, panicked
Everything is so boring, I'm so lonely
Doors are closed now, it's all wicked.
How can I make you follow?
How can I make you belileve
?
Now you're here
Savin' me
dryin' my lonely tear
But the dark's killing you
You will just run away
I badly want you to.
How can I make you follow?
How can I make you believe?

Und guuuut wie ich natürlich bin [nein, keine kommentare(also ja doch schon, aber nich sooolche :P), bitte ] is mir beim abtippen wieder was enues eingefallen xD bei der ersten zeile....

Staring out the window
knowing
that jsut staring
wouldn't fix my world
its broken into pieces
and just you're able to fix
what isn't fixed yet
so why do I stare?
And how can you dare
to let me wait
So, NOW!
fix my world
I want you to
But at least
all I ever wanted
is just you
doesn't matter
how damaged my word is
doesn't matter
how damaged I am
just you
you to be here
you
to hold me in your hands
you just you
and my world is fixes itself.

 

Für's erste wars das danna uch schonmal
Cheeeers
steffi

18.12.10 23:18


what I'm screamin' for

I try to stay in silence
but I'm breakin every sience
I'm the one to brake the rules
like noone else ever does.
I'm not born for that part of live
I'm not born for the rul eof the quiet wife.
I'm here to sing what I couln't say
I'm here to scream for what I pray
It's the silence, wich's nearly killin' me
It's the words I'm not able to say to thee.
I'm afraid, so afraid
I'm lost in my lonely soul
But the word's I've praid
where a big fool
I ever lived in a silent fear
Just to please you, my dear

But now I start to sream
I sream out everything
I'm livin' for
I scream for all the things
I'm dyin for
Hate
love
pride
I scream for me
And I scream fro the love of thee
I scream for my new dentify
And screamin's a drug, stronger than extasy
Cause it makes you feelin' free
free for thinkin just 'bout you 'n me

So you ever wished I would say what I think
But you never wanted to know that I was suffering
And right now I scream to ya face
With my words, I scream down you grace
I scream all against the rules
I scream awaay all our fools
Because I screm to thee
I scream
cause screamin is the only healin' for me

8.9.10 12:06


Never needed

Oha
es ist ja schon eine Ewigkeit her, seitdem ich das letzte mal gebloggt hab *shame on me!* Aber nunja, hier bin ich also wieder! (nein, gebt es auf, ihr werdet mich so schnell nicht mehr los )

Never needed

not yet.
never more
it's over
feelings are off
i'll never cry again for you
hate to feel to
You
but i wont deny
i cried for you
but i did it
cause you hurted
not me
not my heart
not even my soul.
you hurted my pride
and this hateable pride made me cry
not you
not my love
cause it was never strong enough.
you weren't anybody
you were this special somebody
a somebody
wich didn't deserve me.
wich never has.
so go away suffer in your narcissim.
I don't need you anymore
in fact
I've never needed you
even not enough to love you.

6.9.10 22:38


Believe

Believe
to be loved
Believe
that you love
And I'll believe
in everything
I haven' been able to
Believe

Believe
it's all we ever needed
Believe
Everything

Believe in your hope
believe in ya dreams
I know
it's better to do

I ever believed
And the things i
tell you now
are things
I decided
not to do anymore.
I ever belieed
in love
In this feeling
wich changes
night to day
grey to colourful
hate to joy
I ever believed
that love can chnge anything
just to make me ya
everything
I ever believed
love is strong
to beat the dark
to erase all the hate
from the world.
And I ever believed
in us.
we together
I believed in anything you say
you told me we would
Ever stay tgether
would beat everything
and anything
the others say
doesn't matter

but this belief
broke my heart
hurted my soul
wiped off my joy
and released my tears

But also if my broken heart
is so bloody and damaged
I beg you to believe me
that you just should believe
because
maybe your heart lasts in joy
freedom
and the love I never had

19.8.10 12:10


Thoughts

I ever thought
you make my heart go
speed, speeder
speed speder than
I ever felt it beatin'
I ever thought
you make my eyes
look like far away
far, more far
so far away
farer I ever can imagine
And I ever thought you could
make me happier
than I ever can imagine
But at least
i ever thought, you can make
my heart rise
my mind blow
and my body breathin'
I ever thought
you would love me
always
But, well
that's all just
Imagination
Just cause it is a thought
it doesn't have to be true.

29.7.10 23:23


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